It was the best of classes, it was the worst of classes

I've put on some weight this past year, which is driving me crazy. Finally motivated by frustration, tight clothes, and the promise of a pretty new dress, I've been eating healthy the past few weeks. No more junk food, lots of fruits and veggies, the usual. The fact that it's Restaurant week (which is actually two weeks) has been counter-productive. Oh yeah, all the wine and sangria that one must indulge in to get thru New York's current heat wave is a major calorie-upper as well. Water, schmater - when it's 96 degrees and disgustingly humid, you have to drink sangria. So after three weeks of (semi) hard work, I weigh exactly the same. It's time to start moving.

So I decided to pick yoga back up.

I love yoga - it's relaxing and strenuous all at the same time. Your body loves it, and it's always nice to have a happy body. I haven't taken a class in about 6 months, even though I got this fabulous coupon book at the beginning of the year - basically like an Entertainment Guide - 2 classes at one studio, a week at another, etc. I decided it's time to make a dent in this book, besides the coupons I've given out to others.

Yesterday I looked online for a basic yoga class - something light to ease me back in. I looked at a number of websites, trying to find a class in the hour I had available between work and another Restaurant week reservation. Exhale had a class 5:30 -6:30 that mentioned pilates, and I signed right up.

Apparently I mixed up what I read on other websites with what I thought this class would entail.

I get there, take out my mat, and realize no one else has a mat. Sheepishly, I put it back away and get the equipment everyone else had - a 4 - 5" red rubber ball, hand weights, and a strap. Maybe it's yoga without mats? The instructor starts out with "Welcome to Core Fusion!"

Core Fusion is Pilates Aerobics ON CRACK. It's the most intense, strenuous class I've ever taken. EVER. We worked our legs, arms, butt & abs until they couldn't take anymore, until they were shaking so badly you were sure you couldn't last the 10 more reps the instructor just declared was next. The "break" between working each muscle group was 15 push-ups. At the end of the class I wobbled out like a big mound of Jello.

This is Exhale's description of the class: "Fusing the disciplines of core conditioning, Pilates, the Lotte Berk Method, interval cardio training, and yoga, this highly-acclaimed and publicized mind body experience incorporates 50 years of collective teacher expertise from co-founders Fred DeVito and Elisabeth Halfpapp. Allowing you to work from the inside out, this transformational class consistently delivers results, including washboard abs, a tighter and higher backside, long, lean muscles, and an athletic, toned body."

A friend had taken this class for awhile, and told me it never gets easier. It's amazing how much they can squeeze in an hour. I hated and loved how it felt. While it was the complete opposite of the class I thought I had signed up for, I can't wait to go back. Once I stop feeling like Jello.

Twilight strikes again

This morning I got on the subway, and there was this guy around our age in a suit, taking up two seats with his legs wide open. I said, "Excuse me," he GLARED at me and moved over. There was a paper on the seat, so I asked him if it was his - he glared at me again like I was lower than low, and continued shopping for ties on his phone.

I dropped the newspaper on the floor, sat down, and thought about why this guy was so rude to me. Maybe it was a bad day? Maybe his girlfriend had just dropped him and he was anti-women? Maybe he really is that well endowed, and needed the extra room? But I decided it was that it was that he's a vampire and I'm like how Bella is to Edward - his specialty, or favorite type of human to drink from/kill. He had to look at me with disdain and stay away from me so he didn't suck my blood.

This is why I shouldn't read those books.

Man Booker Prize: AFotW

"Merry Christmas to Me!" this year was a MoMa membership and a ton of books. I usually look at lists posted here and there to get an idea of what's new and great. Not the best seller list - no judgement, but I seem to prefer books not on that list. And, thanks to Google, I stumbled upon the Man Booker List. It looked like an intriguing group of books, most I hadn't heard of. Ta-dah - New goal for the year is to read all of 2008's list. Why 2008 instead of 2009? 2008's list is cheaper.

The first foray is A Fraction of the Whole by Steve Toltz. Critics compared Toltz's first novel to A Confederacy of Dunces - a book I have mixed feelings about. I can't stand Ignatius J. Reilly, and I am constantly disgusted while reading about his antics, and his valve problems. At the same time, I loved reading about those same antics, valve problems and all, and couldn't put the damn book down. It's an amazingly well written novel that brings joy & disgust all at the same time. So I figured AFotW would at the least be intriguing and, hopefully, well written.

It was! It is! I enjoyed the story but the writing is what makes this book. The sentences, the concepts strung together are awesome. I can't wait to read the rest of the Man Booker list, and feel like I've stumbled upon a plethera of potentially amazing books - yay! Below are my favorite quotes from AFotW:

- The moment seemed endless, but it was probably only half that.

- As I passed through the gates, the blistered hands of nostalgia gave my heart a good squeeze and I realized you miss shit times as well as good times, because at the end of the day what you're really missing is just time itself.

- No, why air every ugly, negative, loopy, idiotic thought that floats through the head? That's why when you're standing by the harbor, and your lover says, in a tender embrace, "What are you thinking about?" you don't respond, "That I hate people and I wish they'd fall down and never get up." I'm telling you. You just can't say it. I don't know much about women, but I do know that.

- The interior of the Sydney casino looks as if Vegas had an illegitimate child with Liberace's underpants, and that child fell down a staircase and hit its head on the edge of a spade.

- "Because you're like a son to me" "No, I'm not. We're more like distant cousins secretly checking each other out."

- I'd already made two attempts at seeing her, and both times I'd come off looking pathetic. The first time I returned a bra that belonged to her that she'd left in my hut, and the second time I returned a bra belonging to her that I'd actually bought that morning in a department store.

- Occasionally we gave each other looks that said, "Things are out of our hands but we have to do something, and this knowing look is it."

- Your father doesn't know how to cuddle, that's all. He only uses one arm!"

- His worldview seemd to be something like "This place sucks. Let's refurbish."

- Or about how if you listen closely, you discover that people aren't really ever FOR something but instead are just opposed to its opposite.